... you're the 1.3 million dollar baby. Wait, let me write that out numerically, commas and all, so that no shock and awe is lost. I'll even give the number its own paragraph. And an exclamation point. In fact, two exclamation points.
I remember writing a letter last year in which I predicted the NICU bill would come out somewhere below 1 million dollars. Silly me. You can't put a price on a human life, so if you are the billing department for a hospital, why not shoot for the stars? As it turns out, like a lot of hospital expenses, what a person gets charged is pretty arbitrary depending on what hospital you are at. I know one woman who's baby was in the NICU for 8 months, had 6 surgeries, etc. etc. What was her bill? 1.1 million. You, Ellie, must just be special.
Your mother came across this little gem while she was going through the hospital bills:
For some reason, it seems like this formal document--- which slings around 9 digit numbers casually as though it were a receipt from Subway--- should have a little more pazzaz. You know, to better capture the gravity of such a bill.
Since they didn't, I've done it for them:
Lucky for us, our portion of the NICU bill was a little less than 1 percent of the total bill. At first, that doesn't sound like too much, but any percentage of $1,300,000 is still pretty pricey.