Dear Ellie,
It's official. Your mother and I are beginning to go crazy. If we were told that you had 3 more months to go in the hospital, we might not feel this way. However, you've stalled inches from the finish line. Every day is the day we might take you home, but upon the setting of the sun, the finish line is pushed back by another 24 hours. A week ago, you were likely a week from going home. Now, a week later... you are again a "week from going home." You are clinging to a tiny, tiny bit of oxygen. Technically, you could come home with us now since you've passed your car seat test, hearing test, and just about every other diagnostic. However, it's just that tiny bit of oxygen... Ironically, if your respiratory support were greater, they'd probably just send you home on respiratory support, but your oxygen support is so tiny right now that it doesn't make sense to send you home with thousands of dollars worth of instruments if you are just going to wean off of it a few days later. The idea is that its probably just better to wait a few more days in the NICU, wean off here, and go home "low tech."
I'm inclined to agree with this perspective, but the "itch" to take you home is grating on us. I find myself running little thought experiments in my head... For instance, if you mother was waiting in a getaway vehicle at the hospital front entrance, could I snatch you out of your crib and make a go for the exit before security took me down?
I've been reading about your Ellie for a while now and finally caught up to you! Now to wait and see when you'll get to take her home, I hope you won't stop writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, I think I will continue to document Ellie's progress into the future. I was thinking about how children don't have any memories of their formative years and how great it would be to record Ellie's early life for her.
DeleteHa! I totally think you could make it. Those security guards at St Marys don't move that fast. When our second baby came home I told my husband I was just going to smuggle the third baby in the bottom of the crib they wheeled her out in!We had to do the Brady watch on all 3 and the middle one had a Brady on the 6th day so the clock restarted. My third was on 21% and 1 liter oxygen for a long time and wouldn't let herself get weaned until she was good and ready. I'm so happy the finish line is in sight for you. Nicole Fisher
ReplyDeleteYep, the security guards here sort of remind me of mall cops. We'll have to hatch an escape plan. Toss Ellie in the dirty laundry hamper or something.
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