Monday, April 7, 2014


Dear Ellie,

Today, your mother and I had the pleasant opportunity of being lab rats.  Digital lab rats.  Okay, let me explain.  The hospital was making a new database for patient medical records and they were looking for youngish, computerish people to test it out.  Boy was I glad we volunteered.  At first, I thought the extent of the records might involve immunizations, major tests, etc.  Instead, the database gave us access to the results of pretty much EVERY test that they've conducted on you since the day you were born.  Your daily respiratory settings, CO2 blood levels, glucose levels, and on and on and on.  I knew that the doctors were monitoring numerous parameters, but to see the sheer extent was staggering.  By my estimate, since the two and a half months since you were born, you have been subject to upwards of a thousand tests.  This is, by the way, no exaggeration.  No wonder you're the million dollar baby.

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